This is Why You Don’t Want To Be My Friend, Trust Me.

Hello! How are you? Sweaty? Oh, just me? Okay. It was so hot here yesterday I headed to my mom’s to try and cool off the dogs. But Roxy was the only one who was willing to get into the pool. She’s a pool dog all the way. Everyone else was scared. So I wet them a little with the hose (nicely, not like I’m trying to shoo them off my yard like a grumpy old lady getting rid of raccoons, which will some day be my fate).

Then, I had the brilliant idea to get them a little kiddie pool!! Okay. Maybe my dad has been telling me to get them one forever because Roxy loves the water, but

A.) Can’t get in the pool unsupervised

B.) Puts her feet in their water dish all day and it’s disgusting.

C.) Is having a hard time swimming and climbing in and out of the pool because she has arthritis

See? She had just put her paws in the water dish and then stepped on my foot leaving a muddy paw print. She puts those dirty patas in the water all day. I bet the health department would give us an “F” on cleanliness if we were trying to run a respectable doggie restaurant.

I knew the Roxican would love the pool and was hoping the puppies would like it too. Bailey is NOT a water dog so I was prepared for him to hide somewhere for fear of getting the smallest drop of water on his coat.

I hit up the Wal Store and they were SOLD OUT of pools!!!

But I was on a mission so I went to Target and after asking an employee successfully found a little kiddie pool for $10. (This is a doggie bathtub that might work too.)

I also found ice cream. Unfortunately when I went to pay for it I realized they must have sliced the carton with a razor blade or something when they were opening boxes to set them out and it had a big sliced right through the side of it so I had to hand it over and leave without the good stuff. Boo.

When I got back I filled the pool with water and tried to encourage the dogs to check it out. (I realized California is in a drought but it was 104 degrees and we have 4 dogs that needed to drink a lot of water and be cooled off.)

They just thought it was a big water bowl!!

I waited for someone to climb in…. nope.

Finally my mom got some treats and lured Roxy in with them. She stood in it, but didn’t splash or sit or anything. I think the puppies will end up climbing in and/or destroying it like they do everything else we leave out. So at least there will be some fun had by all!

And now I am going to post the least attractive picture of me on the internet.

Okay, maybe one of the top 26 least attractive? I’ve had some real crazy ones in the past…

This is also the #1 reason you don’t want to be my friend…

Now that SR is gone I have made a new friend, my only friend to be exact – Katie.

Katie is a Nurse Practitioner. Katie is pretty. Katie is smart. Katie tries to hug me (don’t be like Katie on that one). Katie is nice and responds to my text messages even when they are pictures of my boogers that I feel are an odd color or me freaking out about having Red Fever.

Anyway.

I have a rash and sent her a picture of it. Because that’s what I do. She is a saint because she responds with helpful info and doesn’t block my number even though I’m sure she doesn’t want to see random pictures of my body parts.

Moral of the story: I have a rash on my neck. And I send really creepy pictures to people so safe yourself from rashes and hypochondriacs by not being my friend. You’re welcome.

For the record the rash is a lot worse in person but the lighting was super bright there and my selfie camera isn’t super HD so it didn’t come out that dramatic, but it is super bumpy and pink.

Oh, and we ate tamales. The end.

Question: How did you stay cool this weekend?

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