I decided to address some of the recently asked questions about it in an updated post. I started writing, and writing... and before I knew it, I realized I needed two posts. And then three. And then I figured, what the hell, let's just write a whole series! ;) So, here is the first of four posts on binge eating. This is a rough outline of what the posts will cover:
Part 1
My history with binge eating
Definition of binge eating
Binge eating vs. overeating
The thought process of a binge
Part 2
Binge "triggers"
Emotional eating
Part 3
The two main things that have helped me stay binge-free for 178 days and counting
And other tips that may (or may not) help others
Part 4
Getting back on track after a binge
Preventing binges through balance
It's no secret that I have struggled with binge eating disorder (BED) since I was a kid. I remember getting home from school and making an enormous bowl of popcorn loaded with butter. After polishing that off, I would chase it with a huge bowl (or, more likely, two or three bowls) of ice cream with chocolate syrup and peanuts. And later, I would eat dinner with my family.
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| Starting young ;) |
I remember sneaking food to binge eat when I was at my grandma's house, too. She used to have boxes of Kudos bars, which is what started my love affair with chocolate and peanut butter. I would sneak them one by one, eating them as quickly as possible so nobody would see, until they were gone. She also had fruit snacks (the original ones that tasted so good!) and I would eat several packs of those.
I always felt ashamed of my eating habits. At the time, I didn't know that I had the classic signs of binge eating disorder (actually, back then, it wasn't even a labeled eating disorder). My parents were never strict about what I ate, so the bingeing wasn't a rebellious thing. I just somehow sensed that what I was doing was wrong in some way.
The bingeing became its worst when my kids were both very young. Bedtime for them meant binge-time for me. As soon as their heads hit their pillows, I was in the pantry, pulling out anything that sounded good. It was my way of relaxing after a day of looking after two young kids. I would sit on the couch, watching TV, and eating until I was stuffed. Then I would go to bed miserable with myself, vowing that I wouldn't do it the next day. My weight climbed higher and higher, until I found myself weighing 253 pounds and unable to be an active parent.
On August 19, 2009, I started a binge-free streak that lasted an entire year! And I managed to lose 125 pounds over 16 months. You all know the rest of the story, which is on my blog :)
First, I want to set something straight from the beginning. Binge eating is not the same as overeating. A lot of people use the terms interchangeably, but they are different. To be considered a binge, the DSM-V has the following criteria:
- An episode of binge eating is characterized by both of the following:
- eating, in a discrete period of time (for example, within any 2-hour period), an amount of food that is definitely larger than most people would eat in a similar period of time under similar circumstances
- a sense of lack of control over eating during the episode (for example, a feeling that one cannot stop eating or control what or how much one is eating)
- Also, the binge-eating episodes are associated with three (or more) of the following:
- eating much more rapidly than normal
- eating until feeling uncomfortably full
- eating large amounts of food when not feeling physically hungry
- eating alone because of feeling embarrassed by how much one is eating
- feeling disgusted with oneself, depressed, or very guilty afterwards
- Marked distress regarding binge eating is present.
There is also a difference between a binge episode and a Binge Eating Disorder (BED). To be considered BED, the following criteria must be met as well:
- The binge eating occurs, on average, at least once a week for three months.
- The binge eating is not associated with the recurrent use of inappropriate compensatory behavior (for example, purging) and does not occur exclusively during the course Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, or Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder.
(Source)
Most people have episodes of overeating now and then (think Thanksgiving, for example). But overeating is not the same as binge eating. Overeating every now and then is normal, and in most cases, not harmful to one's health. Binge eating, on the other hand, can contribute to obesity and all the related conditions resulting from it; it also can cause psychological issues such as depression.
For someone who may not experience binge eating, but wants to understand it, I thought I would give an example of the thought process that may cause/contribute to a binge. It's not rational thinking, but our minds are not always rational, I guess ;) Here is an example of a nighttime binge (I'm going to refer to Weight Watchers Points here, because I haven't binged since I started counting calories):
...and so on. Maybe the above wasn't the greatest example, but it just shows how irrational our thoughts can be sometimes. "I've already blown it, so I might as well just keep eating" is something that I used to tell myself all the time!
Over the last few years, I've learned ways to manage my binge eating, and have had several very long streaks of being binge-free. In the next post, I'll write about binge triggers and how emotional eating plays a role in binge eating. Hopefully this post has helped give some insight into binge eating! (If you'd like to share any of your own experience or ask any questions in the comments, feel free!)
I eat well all day long, measuring my portions, counting my Points. Getting dinner ready is a little stressful--I'm hungry; the kids are looking for something to eat and asking when dinner will be ready; Joey is waiting to be fed; Jerry gets home from work; and I haven't figured out exactly what to make for dinner yet. I'm really tempted to just order a pizza, but I grab a few ingredients to throw together a quick meal.
We sit down to eat, and I don't like what I've put together, but I eat it anyways because I'm starving. After dinner, I'm just not feeling satisfied, so I decide to have a small sweet treat to end the meal. We don't have any real sweets in the house, so I grab about a tablespoon of chocolate chips and eat those while I'm standing in the pantry. I take a load of laundry from the dryer to put it away, and the chocolate was so good that I decide to take another tablespoon as I pass by the pantry again.
One more time won't hurt. After I put away the laundry, I decide I better add the chocolate chips to my food log. I realize that I had eaten over 6 Points of chocolate chips, but I still wasn't satisfied. I look for something with more substance, that I can actually sit down and enjoy eating. I don't find anything that really sounds satisfying, so I grab the only snacky food that I can find--Goldfish. I pour some into a bowl, measuring them out so that I can log my Points, and sit down to eat them. I forgot how much I like Goldfish!
They were so good that I decide to eat some more. Going over my Points for the day won't really hurt that bad, right? I ran this morning, so I'll just use the Activity Points that I earned. A glass of wine sounds good, too. I pour a glass of wine and a larger portion of Goldfish. About halfway through my wine, the Goldfish are gone, so I refill my bowl. The wine made me feel more relaxed, and I think I shouldn't worry about eating too much now and then--everybody does it! I was already over my allotted Points for the day, so a little more won't hurt.
By now, the salty Goldfish made me want something sweet again, so I have more chocolate chips--this time taking a small handful at a time. I decide to just skip trying to log my food, because I've already blown my Points, so what does it matter? And since I'm not logging my food, I might as well finish off the chocolate chips so they aren't there to screw me up tomorrow.
While I get the chocolate chips, I notice the peanut butter, and decide to throw together a make-shift "cookie dough"--I mix a big blob of peanut butter with a couple of handfuls of dry oats, and then stir in some chocolate chips. It tastes SO good that I decide to have some more. At this point, I'm starting to feel full, but starting tomorrow, I am never going to binge again--so I might as well just get it all out of my system now....
...and so on. Maybe the above wasn't the greatest example, but it just shows how irrational our thoughts can be sometimes. "I've already blown it, so I might as well just keep eating" is something that I used to tell myself all the time!
Over the last few years, I've learned ways to manage my binge eating, and have had several very long streaks of being binge-free. In the next post, I'll write about binge triggers and how emotional eating plays a role in binge eating. Hopefully this post has helped give some insight into binge eating! (If you'd like to share any of your own experience or ask any questions in the comments, feel free!)
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