Last year I wrote about some happiness tweaks I’d made, realizing I needed to take my mental health into my hands the same way I’d done with my physical health.
Recently, my therapist remarked how proud she was of where I was this January compared to last January. I wasn’t in a good place then, and despite dealing with my mom being sick, I’m somehow in a far better place mentally than I was last year. (And thank god.)
Here’s what’s worked for me over the past year or so:
- Admitting when I need help. Whether this is at work, asking friends for support or admitting to my family maybe I don’t have something under control can actually be a huge relief to me instead of trying to always pretend I have my shit together. Because, well…I don’t, completely.
- But I’ve also learned to celebrate my accomplishments, both internally and by not being self-deprecating out loud. You know how so many women are guilty of deflecting compliments? If someone tells me I look good, instead of pointing out how no, my hair is so dirty, I just smile and say thanks and try to offer a genuine compliment back if I can. Even more, I’ve learned to believe those compliments.
- Being nicer to myself. Stop holding myself to unrealistic expectations I wouldn’t ever hold anyone else to.
- Actually doing things to make my life just a little easier. Example: I do live close to work so I can take my dog out at lunch. Round trip, it takes about 20 minutes. I’ve had this same commute for two years, but only recently did I start occasionally getting a dog-walker. Because sometimes the idea of leaving for 20 minutes in the middle of a stressful day is impossible or sounds more stressful. I can do something to make it a little easier? Fine. (But most of the time I still enjoy that quick daytime stop back home and a little QT with my fur man.)
- Self-care: Getting my nails done. Probably the most basic form of a self-care habit, but that ~$10 habit is well worth it to me for a quick time out and a few days of looking down at nice-looking nails. Here’s a great list of more self-care ideas.
- Acceptance. (<< Hello, can I have my adult card now?) I’m going to be 33 next month. The lines in my face are getting a little deeper, and my metabolism is getting a little slower…and that’s ok. Once I embraced those things, I learned to appreciate my appearance a little more.
- Working out. ACT LIKE YOU’RE SURPRISED TO READ THIS HERE. Through an injury last summer, I realized how crucial working out is to my mental health. Sure I work out to burn calories and stay in shape, but I can truly say that if I never burned another calorie again from working out, I would still keep moving, because it just makes me feel better and more calm.
- Surrounding myself with the absolute best people I know. Those friends that make me laugh until I cry. Hanging out with my coworkers more than is normal because I love them fiercely. Cherishing those valuable friends that I can count on for a few too many glasses of wine one night and to be by my side with my family another.
- Giving this blog space. I’ve always tried to be as cheery as possible on this blog. I like to think I’m mostly like that IRL with a side of sarcasm. When I was down, the idea of writing here — no matter how much I wanted to — was torture. I didn’t want to pretend everything was a-ok in my life, but I didn’t want to wallow in this space either. There were so many nights last summer I stared at a blank screen for hours and finally gave up and closed my laptop, frustrated I hadn’t written anything and even more frustrated I’d wasted my own time. I’m slowly coming back to you guys more and have lots of ideas for this year, and I love it.
- Really learning to be myself and be (mostly) OK with what other people think about that. Sometimes I’m too goofy, sometimes I laugh too loud, sometimes I’m too quiet and withdraw. But hey, that’s all me.
What’s helped you be a little happier?
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