My Dirty Secret

Every time I do something embarrassing I think, “I should post this for confession Thursday and get it off my chest.”  But it happens so often that I forget most of the things I do. I am the worst. I think it feels liberating to just admit to something dumb and move on, ya know?

Last week I found myself in a very awkward situation at a place that I think might have been a cult. Seriously. Well, that’s a story for my book (if I ever write one).

Today we’re talking about something else, my dirty lil secret of this week…

This morning I ran and ate and then hit the shower. I don’t wash my hair everyday. There are strict rules against that, right? The hair gurus say you’re not supposed to wash everyday, it’s science or fashion or something.

I don’t even use dry shampoo that often. I’m just like, “it is what it is…” and work with it.

But this morning I decided to wash my hair because I had curled it the other day and at this point it was a little sad. I was going through the motions of showering and grabbed the shampoo to wash my hair…

that’s when I realized something weird

No, it wasn’t a spider.

No, my phone wasn’t ringing.

No, it wasn’t a murderer looming outside the shower – it was worse.

 

 

Any guesses?

 

 

 

 

 

I WAS USING DOG SHAMPOO.

 

Yes, dog shampoo. I think I bought it when Roxy was staying with me a few weeks ago. I ended up taking her to the groomers and not washing her. I threw the shampoo under the bathroom sink and went on with life.

I guess the other day when I ran out of my usual shampoo I grabbed that one thinking it was something I picked up at Marshall’s at some point. I have probably used it once before. The price tag is directly over the dog on the front and there is nothing that says DOG SHAMPOO on it. I guess a few days in the shower was starting to make the tag transparent and the dog started peeking through. I spotted it today when I went to wash my hair and stopped immediately to question my sanity.

Is this really my life? Am I really using dog shampoo right now? Have I completely lost my shit?

Yes. Yes. and Yes.

No wonder I keep wanting to hump people’s legs… it all makes sense now.

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