Dear Sexually-Charged Target Couple:
I get it. Really, I do. Times are tough and it’s “hard” to find a place to meet up and get freaky. Since the Target dressing rooms around here are open to both men and women in one place, I’m certainly accustomed to any gender of human accidentally opening my dressing room door because of a half-assed lock. But, dang, you got me good on this one. This was definitely a first.
To hear the two of you gettin’ it on in the dressing room next to me was truly a brand new moment I’ve never experienced. I honestly don’t know what was more frustrating for me — that I had to listen to your sexual banter and groans, or the fact that you were both worried about making a baby by accident, but went ahead with the grinding groaning anyway.
Dear Sir, she doesn’t want to have more babies until you put a ring on her finger. She said it very loud and clear. I heard it for myself. I was tempted to bang on the wall and apologize for not having a condom to offer you, so I’m real sorry about that. You promised her marriage as part your romantical ways. Did you put a ring on it yet?
It’s very alarming to think of the person that when into the dressing room stall after you were done in there. I’m sure an ultraviolet black light would easily reveal the bodily fluids you left behind. Damn, you two are nasty.
I took some selfies of me to block out the noise of your lust. If you happen to read this post, I hope you enjoy what I was doing in the room next to you. And no, I didn’t buy that sports bra. It was too damn small.
The post Open Letter to the Couple Gettin’ It On In the Target Dressing Room Next To Me… appeared first on Yum Yucky.
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